About the Blog:
Pick a setting and I can guarantee you there’s a part of yourself that isn’t welcome there (or at least doesn’t feel welcome there). Church and your sexual self, the DMV and your creative self, a kegger and your religious self… I’m not advocating for throwing all social norms to the wind and engaging in a purely primal or anarchistic style of human relationship. I’m just wondering why there are so many places where we have to disengage from one part of our identity or another in order to fit in? Yes, it is important to have social boundaries for certain behaviors in certain settings. But all too often, we seem to do a particularly thorough job of dis-integrating ourselves.
This blog is an attempt at creating a venue where I can more fully express myself, all parts of me, free of judgment or obligation. It is my hope that with a good outlet I can feel a little less crazy, a little less atrophied and have a fuller cup from which to pour out myself and my energy.
This blog is about living life as a whole person, rather than as a person who must discard parts of who I am in order to exercise any other given part. It’s about living an integrated life (def: “combining or coordinating separate elements so as to provide a harmonious, interrelated whole”) so I don’t become a dis-integrated person.
My only caveat is that, of course, who I am is not perfect. So if any stumble across these musings, I hope you can offer some grace and mercy to an imperfect person who just needs an honest outlet.
After a challenging but fulfilling decade pursuing a masters degree and a career I, gratefully but with some sense of identity lost, made the decision to become a stay-at-home mom. I don’t regret the decision.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a wife and stay-at-home mom or if it’s a phenomenon common to modern women in general, but I find that I have very few outlets in my life that allow me to be all of who I am at once: a mother, an intellect, a person of faith, a wife, a creative being, a sexual person and a concerned citizen/steward of this planet. In some settings I can be a number of these things and in other settings I feel judged or stifled or simply too exhausted to express many, or even just one, parts of myself well.
Without getting exercised or nourished, certain parts of who I am shrivel up and I end up feeling like less of a woman, less of a person. Other times, I start to feel like a multiple-headed horse, heads butting against each other and straining in opposite directions as they fight to decide which “me” gets to determine the agenda for the day.
Overall, I am truly blessed to live the life that I do. This blog may catch me at my worst sometimes, but hopefully that means the people in my life I love the most can be spared some of the drama inflicted on the world wide web.